But, to be fair, Cult of Mac knows Steve Jobs would have hated these things because [clown horn] honk-honk [slide whistle] doooooooooooop [very long seltzer spray] pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssht
For future reference, here are the rules about presuming to write about what Steve Jobs would have thought of anything:
A) Unless you are Laurene Powell Jobs, do not attempt to write about what Steve Jobs would have thought of anything.
B) There is no rule B.
Is the author at Cult of Mac Laurene Powell Jobs? Alas, no.